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August 2018 edition

Yes, I’m copy-pasting a lot from previous versions of this post, because it’s exhausting to rewrite the same info over and other again.

However, let’s see if I can sum things up: my daughter Dessie has chronic kidney disease, currently at stage 4. Sometime, hopefully soon, she will need/get a donated kidney transplanted. That will take us over to Seattle for three to four months, basically moving us there for the duration.

Here is the information for possible kidney donors: Donors need to between 21-45, in reasonably good health, and O+ blood type. If this is something you’re interested, please contact the University of Washington’s living donor program at 206-598-3627, and mention you’re interested in donating to Dessie McAdams. I am not sure what constitutes “reasonably good health” in this case, though I think most people with chronic illnesses don’t qualify and anyone immmuno-compromised. Best to contact UW and ask.

We do have a possible living donor right now, and are waiting on the process, which may take months. I am hoping, however, that one way or the other Dessie will receive a new kidney in the next 12 months. Or so. Soon, I’m hoping. However, transplanted kidneys come with expiration dates averaging between 10-20 years, so her doctors want her to retain her native kidneys as long as possible.

I divorced my abusive ex about four years ago, taking on the marital debt to speed the divorce. I consolidated it, but just trying to staying alive as a family keeps piling up debt, pretty consistently putting us in the negative each month, because there’s more bills than money, and no way to be rid of bills without more money than we have. I’m trying. It kills me to keep asking for help. But I’ve learned if you don’t ask, people won’t help; staying silent assumes you’re fine.

We are living in a house owned by my ex in laws, and there’ve repeated threats to evict us. I’d love to move, but that’s impossible without money. I badly want to get us into a place where neither my ex nor his family have power over us.

In about early May 2017, my daughter revealed to me that her father molested her, while we were still married., when she was about three or four. I reported this to CPS and the police., but ultimately nothing came of it, because by that time no physical evidence remained.

Im trying to keep my family safe, and well. It’s a constant and continuing struggle. We currently have an old but good working car; in the past few months, though, w e’ve had tires blow out, and our car repossessed. Most recently it required a $754 fix; my mother was able and kind enough that help me that done, but I most pay her back somehow.

The house has issues; every time I think we’ve tackled the last plumbing issue, a new one comes up. The last one was the bathroom sink. Getting them fixed means dealing with my ex mother in law or ex father in law. They like to use such things as excuses to interfere in our lives. The last time I requested a plumbing fix, they sent in my ex’s half-brother, who did the job but also called CPS on me. The house’s poor electrical setup regularly kills our lightbulbs.

YouCaring has been fully absorbed by GoFundMe as of July 31st, so that’s no longer an alternative. Be aware that the GFM does not reflect the approximately 40k in debt I’m struggling with, nor other life complications which money would help with, partly not to muddy up the donation page, but also because GoFundMe is fairly public and encourages shares to Facebook — which is good for a donation platform, yes, but I don’t want my ex and his family to find out all our struggles.

I am looking into bankruptcy; that also requires money to file for. I am trying to modify our parenting plan so the kids either only see him in a formally supervised setting or not at all. Though I’m hunting for sliding fees and fee waivers, money is required for all of this. (Just filing for a parenting plan modification costs $260, if the court denies the fee waiver request.) Capitalism sucks pointy rocks.

Ifou prefer alternate donation methods, here are some:

PayPal.me/kerryren

Venmo @KerryRen

Cash app $KerryRen
C

CirclePay kerryren@yahoo.com

If you use these, please let me know if you want to be publicly thanked/acknowledged here (if you also shared your tumblr @), or as an offline donation on the GFM. Otherwise I’ll assume anonymity is preferred; you’ll still get thanked if I can find a way, but not necessarily publicly.

Do not donate if it will cause you personal hardship. Please. Don’t feel obliged to donate if you either can’t afford or even don’t want to. Rebloggjng and signal boosting, however, on whatever your available platforms are is greatly appreciated.

I do try to keep these posts updated as to my present financial status. As I receive SSDI (and my children receive social security funds through both their parents), money comes in on the third of each month and then whooshes out through the next three days. From there I try to keep us fed and alive any way I can — mostly with plasma money right now.

We don’t get food stamps. We don’t get energy assistance. We don’t get housing assistance. This is not from pride; I’ve applied and been told our household has too much income. (They don’t take the total outgo into account, much, usually). We get health insurance, which is a plus or things would be infinitely, painfully worse.

Anyway, this is long enough so I’ll end it for now.

This month’s hell begins. Please help.

8/14/18 — just moving this here to cut down on an increasingly long post. Thank you all so much for your help!

Wednesday!

No change this Thursday morning! Please help!

And no change Friday morning. 🙁 Please help!

My Daughter’s Transplant Expenses (and still trying to keep my family alive)